She desperately wants to be the best. She thrives on competition. She works and sports at a high level. She’s willing to sacrifice one for the glory of another.
A jack-of-all-trades who tries to keep up. She doesn’t want to put a foot wrong, just to be acceptable in someone else’s eyes.
She doesn’t know what she wants, beyond winning. Everything by the book, that seems like a good idea to her.
I have to laugh. By the book, that really does not sound like you.
She cries and laughs. In a way, she agrees. She knows. That’s how she writes the rules of her own book.